


Pirates! In an Adventure with Librarians

by cleflink



Category: Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012)
Genre: First Meetings, Gen, Humour, Libraries, Pre-Canon, Slash Goggles, Slashy gen, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2012-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-21 20:22:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/601704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cleflink/pseuds/cleflink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"You there," the Pirate Captain said. "Librarian with a Scarf."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pirates! In an Adventure with Librarians

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lyricalnights](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyricalnights/gifts).



'Pillage and plunder' was the motto of all pirates.

Well, technically, _Pillage and Plunder_ was Section 2.B of the Pirate Manifesto, Subsection III, but the Pirate Captain had never been one to quibble over the little details. The point was, he had booty to acquire and he needed to figure out how to get it.

The Pirate Captain's current target was about forty feet high, possessed an awful lot of too-narrow windows and had a deceptively open gangplank leading up to the front door. It was, he'd been reliably informed, the only place where he'd be able to find exactly what he was after.

Now, the Pirate Captain had never tried to board a library before, but there was a first time for everything.

His vantage point behind the fruit seller across the street gave the Pirate Captain an excellent view of the library which, while ostensibly unguarded, was not far from the local police station, which made things rather more complicated. The _'no pirates, pets or solicitors'_ sign hanging on the door suggested that simply walking in and demanding his booty would not be taken well. 

The Pirate Captain slouched deeper into the cantaloupe display, considering his options. 

As a pirate, his first instinct was to fire a cannonball through the front door. Sadly, there were only two problems with that.

One: it might damage the books and it would be just his luck to catch the one he was looking for in the crossfire. Also, he stood a not-inconsiderable chance of burning the whole building down, which was counterproductive.

Two: he didn't have a cannon. Or a cannonball, for that matter.

Which left stealth and cunning as his best ways of gaining entry. Luckily, the Pirate Captain was extremely good at both of those things.

\---

"Good afternoon, reverend," a gentleman in a posh coat said as the Pirate Captain climbed the dramatic staircase up to the library. "Let me get the door for you."

"God bless you, sir," the Pirate Captain answered. The black cassock was far from the most comfortable thing he'd ever worn, but pirates hadn't earned their fearsome reputations by objecting to a little chafing so he bravely soldiered on. The style was slimming, at least, and the rosary was rather pretty. He did miss his hat, though. 

The man held the door as promised and the Pirate Captain sketched the sign of the cross in the air as he stepped past him and into the library.

The library's front foyer was large, stately and smelled just a little bit like wet socks. The Pirate Captain looked around at the vaulted ceilings, the tragically dull carpet and the marble carvings on the wall, and wrinkled his nose. He would never understand the appeal of this newfangled Regency architecture.

He glanced down at the piece of paper in his hand, double-checking the title he'd copied down in his crisp, rakishly piratical handwriting. It was long, but memorable. With any luck, the Pirate Captain would be in and out before anyone realized that he'd double-parked his rowboat.

Squaring his shoulders, the Pirate Captain strode through the vestibule with his head held high and his face arranged into an appropriately priestly countenance.

Then he entered the main concourse and his disguise faltered.

"Ah," he said delicately.

There were books _everywhere_. Which was only to be expected, given that it was a library, but the Pirate Captain hadn't thought there'd be quite so many of them. Bookshelves radiated out in a ring around the concourse and a second floor loomed at the far end of the room, bordered in by railings in the same ominously dark wood as the shelves.

The bookcases were packed so closely together that the Pirate Captain couldn't straighten his arms out while standing between them. The higher shelves were only accessible via long sliding ladders which actually looked like rather a lot of fun. But pirates had to put work before play even when there were giant wheelie ladders involved, so the Pirate Captain reluctantly put them out of his head.

He looked again at his sheet of paper, then back out at the veritable army of books around him.

 _Drat_ , he thought. _Should have known I'd need a treasure map._

As he gazed out around the concourse, the Pirate Captain noticed a sturdy-looking desk against the wall to his left that had a person sitting behind it, working away. The front of the desk boasted a handy sign that read _'Help Desk'_ and, in slightly smaller text below _'We find books, not pets'_.

Ducking into the nearest set of shelves, the Pirate Captain appropriated the first suitably Bible-shaped book he saw, just to give his disguise a little bit of added authenticity. He turned the book so that the title - _An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations_ , which sounded dreadfully dull - was hidden against his chest, then struck out boldly across the floor.

The young man sitting at the desk was younger than he'd looked from across the room; he was dressed in a rather natty waistcoat and a red scarf. 

"You there," the Pirate Captain said, marching up to the desk. "Librarian with a Scarf."

The Librarian with a Scarf looked up with a pleasant smile that the Pirate Captain approved of immediately. "Hello, reverend. Can I help you with something?"

"Yes." The Pirate Captain shoved his very important piece of paper under the man's nose. "I need this book."

The Librarian with a Scarf took leaned back and uncrossed his eyes. " _The Life and Strange Surprizing Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, of York, Mariner: Who lived Eight and Twenty Years, all alone in an un-inhabited Island on the Coast of America, near the Mouth of the Great River of Oroonoque; Having been cast on Shore by Shipwreck, wherein all the Men perished but himself. With An Account how he was at last as strangely deliver'd by Pirates_ ," he read. He glanced up again. "By Daniel Defoe?"

The Pirate Captain had no idea if that was correct, but he rather doubted that there were two books with that title so he nodded. "Indeed." 

"Let me see if it's available." The Librarian with a Scarf pushed back his chair and stood. He was nearly of a height with the Pirate Captain and skinny as a rail. He turned to the massive filing cabinet behind him and grabbed the handle of the drawer near his right hip. "You, er, might want to back up a little."

"Right-ho." The Pirate Captain shifted away and watched as the Librarian with a Scarf pulled the drawer open. And open. And more open. The drawer jutted out a goodly long distance past the end of the desk and the Librarian with a Scarf's hand shot out to rescue a mug with _'Librarian: Stupid questions are my forte'_ written on it from falling on the floor.

"Card catalogue," the Librarian with a Scarf explained, obviously catching the Pirate Captain's curious expression. He started thumbing through the contents of the drawer, which turned out to be rows upon rows of little white cards. "There's a card for every book in the library."

"What do you do about the bottom drawer?" the Pirate Captain wanted to know. "The desk's in the way."

"Hope no one needs any information out of the back half. Here we go." The Librarian with a Scarf picked up a card and gave him a smile. "If you'll follow me, please." 

"Thank you, my son," the Pirate Captain said gravely, and fell in behind as the Librarian with a Scarf led the way.

The Librarian with a Scarf wove confidently through the shelves without bothering to check the titles on the spines of the books. They took a left turn at Imperial History, walked straight through Ancient Drama and headed up a set of stairs into General Fiction. Once they were there, the Librarian with a Scarf paused briefly to check the card in his hand, then led the way three rows over and two down before stopping.

"Here we are," he told the Pirate Captain. "Let me get a ladder."

"You must be jolly good at reading maps," the Pirate Captain called after him and, immediately, a whole chorus of 'shh!'s echoed onto him from all sides. 

The Pirate Captain cringed. "Sorry!" he whispered back and heard several disgruntled mutters before the room went silent again.

"Lots of practice," the Librarian with a Scarf answered, sotto voce. He nudged the ladder into place and put his foot on the first rung. "Could I get you to step back a bit, reverend?"

About two thirds of the way up the ladder, the Librarian with a Scarf stopped and hooked his left arm and leg through the rungs of the ladder so he could lean out to run his other hand along the spines of the books on the shelf. It was a tidy little trick, the Pirate Captain thought. He'd probably be brilliant on a ship's rigging.

A moment passed, then another and the Pirate Captain caught the lower edges of a frown curving the Librarian with a Scarf's mouth. The little card was fished out and compared to the books on the shelf and the frown grew more pronounced. The Librarian with a Scarf swung over to the other side of the ladder and repeated the process. He stepped up a rung and scanned the next shelf up, then stepped down and did the same for the shelf below. 

Finally, he sighed and, pulling all his limbs back in, started climbing down the ladder again.

"What's the trouble?" the Pirate Captain asked him when he got to the bottom.

"I'm very sorry," the Librarian with a Scarf said, sounding terribly sincere. "But I'm afraid that the book you're looking for has gone missing. I can suggest some other books you mi-"

The Pirate Captain frowned. "Missing? How the deuce does a book go missing?"

The Librarian with a Scarf looked around and then leaned in, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "It was probably stolen."

" _Stolen?!_ "

" _SHHH!!_ "

"Stolen?!" the Pirate Captain said again, lower. "Are you telling me that people actually steal books?" 

The Librarian with a Scarf nodded. "I'm afraid so," he said, looking rather put out by the whole affair. 

The Pirate Captain frowned. "Well, that's just jolly unfair." He held up one hand, the other pressed to his chest. "I may be a pirate, but stealing library books just isn't right. How are other people supposed to read them?"

The Librarian with a Scarf blinked. "Did you… you're a pirate?"

"What? No, no, of course not." The Pirate Captain laughed dismissively, though it lost something when voiced in an undertone. He slapped on a smile and contrived to look godly. "Wherever did you get that idea, my son? I'm a priest, remember? Just look at my dress! Er, robe. Oh, whatever you call it."

The Librarian with a Scarf raised an eyebrow.

The Pirate Captain deflated. "Drat. I've got to be more careful about that."

"I would say so, yes." The Librarian with a Scarf paused. "I'm sorry but, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I was hoping to read _Robinson Crusoe_ , but apparently someone's nicked it. I don't suppose you have another one in the back somewhere?" he asked hopefully.

"I… no. Look. Is there a reason why you're pretending to be a priest?"

"Well they're not likely to let the Pirate Captain in, are they?" The Pirate Captain humphed and slumped unhappily against the shelf. "I suppose you're going to have me arrested now. Dreadful business. You know, if I was a tax-paying citizen, I'd object to this kind of second-class treatment quite strongly. Really, just because I'm a pirate doesn't mean I don't deserve t-"

"Shh!" the Librarian with a Scarf hissed, which the Pirate Captain didn't quite think he deserved. He wasn't being that loud.

"I say," he said, miffed. "You don-" 

"I'm not going to have you arrested," the Librarian with a Scarf said hurriedly and the Pirate Captain's mouth snapped shut with a click. "But you need to be quiet or it won't be up to me."

"Oh." The Pirate Captain relaxed. "Well then. Thank you."

"You're welcome," the Librarian with a Scarf said, in a strangely indulgent tone of voice. "Now. Would you like me to find you a different book to read? This section's been hit rather badly, but I should still be able to find something you'll like."

"This is just outrageous," the Pirate Captain said. He lifted his chin. "Clearly, something must be done."

The Librarian with a Scarf spread his hands helplessly. "The library's just too big to keep an eye on everyone. We have a small enough staffing budget as it is."

"Hmm." The Pirate Captain stroked his beard thoughtfully. "An ambush should do the trick, I think. Yes."

"With all due respect, setting up a trap in front of one aisle in the entire library isn't likely to catch a criminal."

"Nonsense," the Pirate Captain said. "What else are traps for if not for catching people? We'll be done in time for tea." 

The Librarian with a Scarf sighed, just a little. "You don't have to do this, you know."

The Pirate Captain held up a quelling hand. "No need to thank me." He straightened his cassock and gave the Librarian with a Scarf an exaggerated wink. "It's part of my calling as a member of the cloth to stop people breaking those Commandment thingies. And I'm pretty sure stealing's in there somewhere."

"…right."

"Not really." The Pirate Captain dropped his voice into an even lower whisper. "That's just a ruse. I am actually a pirate."

The Librarian with a Scarf sighed. "Yes, Captain, I know."

There was, the Pirate Captain decided, something quite nice about hearing the Librarian with a Scarf call him that. He thought he could quite happily listen to the Librarian with a Scarf say his name many times in the future.

"Captain?" the Librarian with a Scarf said again and the Pirate Captain realized that he'd missed something.

"Sorry, fantasizing there for a moment. Mental image of you in a grass skirt. Don't mind me." He flashed a reassuring grin. Oddly, the Librarian with a Scarf didn't look especially reassured. "What did you say?"

The Librarian with a Scarf rolled his eyes. "Never mind. Where would you like to set this trap?"

\---

The Pirate Captain and the Librarian with a Scarf established their surveillance in the Poetry section, where a man named Shelley seemed to have written an awful lot of poems about nature. And poems about poetry, oddly.

"How are you planning on making sure he doesn't notice you?" the Librarian with a Scarf asked. "Even a poor thief is going to notice if he's being stared at by a priest. Or anybody, really."

"Ah," the Pirate Captain held up a punctuating finger, "that's where it gets clever. Listen carefully. I shall disguise myself as a librarian and busy myself with organizing the bookshelves. He'll hardly even know I'm here."

The Librarian with a Scarf had very expressive eyebrows, the Pirate Captain was starting to notice. "I'm not sure this is entirely wise, Captain."

"Oh, I assure you, I'm a master of disguise. Now, where do you keep the poem books that need sticking on the shelves? And do you organize them by colour or size?"

"Ah," the Librarian with a Scarf said. "About that."

\---

"So," Librarian with a Scarf said, from his perch up on the ladder. He twisted to look down at the Pirate Captain and his scarf dangled down from his neck like a banner. "Why are you so interested in _Robinson Crusoe_?"

"Research," the Pirate Captain said promptly. It had turned out that the library sorted its books using some strange, drastically overcomplicated number system that the Pirate Captain had neither the time nor the inclination to learn, and so he'd decided that it was better if the Librarian with a Scarf was the one shelving the books. The Pirate Captain could keep an eye out just as well from the floor, after all, and someone needed to hold the ladder to make sure that the Librarian with a Scarf didn't fall off.

The Librarian with a Scarf arched an eyebrow at him, which looked a little strange upside-down. "I'm not sure how useful a fictional story is for research."

"Pish. Fictional people are people too, you know. I need some suggestions about how to go about certain adventure-y things."

"Like what?"

"Oh, captaining a ship and getting a crew, that sort of thing." The Pirate Captain sighed heavily. "I hardly need to tell _you_ how hard it is to find a manual on these things. It's not like you even have a section on Piracy in this dirty great library of yours. Pirates aren't a big target consumer group."

"You don't have a ship or a crew?" the Librarian with a Scarf asked.

The Pirate Captain shrugged. "My captaincy is a work in progress."

"But you're called the Pirate Captain."

"Tut, tut. Surely you realize that being a captain isn't about having a ship or commanding a large crew. It's about who you are inside. Captaining is in my bones." The Pirate Captain paused, then added, "but that doesn't mean that it isn't handy to get a little expert pirating advice."

"…you do realize that the pirates in _Robinson Crusoe_ get marooned on the island, don't you?"

"Do they really?" The Pirate Captain thought about that. "Clearly it's meant to be a cautionary tale, then." 

That earned him a headshake and a rueful sort of sigh that the Pirate Captain took as an acknowledgement of the undeniable brilliance of his logic.

"I've got to get back to work," the Librarian with a Scarf said then. He slotted the last book he was holding onto the shelf and started climbing down the ladder with quick, economical movements. "Are you going to stay here or…?"

"Of course I'm staying here," the Pirate Captain said, affronted. "I gave my word, didn't I? I am a gentleman pirate. This thief needs to be caught."

The Librarian with a Scarf dismounted the ladder with a smile. "You're a credit to your profession, Captain. I'll be back before long," he continued. "Please stay off the ladder."

"Being a librarian must be no fun at all," the Pirate Captain said. "What good are sliding ladders you never play with?"

"I've got no problem with you playing with them," the Librarian with a Scarf said. He tossed a wink over one shoulder. "It's just not particularly subtle, is all. Try reading some of the poetry; you might just enjoy it."

It was about then that the Pirate Captain decided that he rather liked this librarian fellow.

\---

Unfortunately, without the Librarian with a Scarf around to talk to, the Pirate Captain's stakeout quickly devolved into an exercise in crushing boredom. The library was hushed and dim and stuffy and the Poetry section offered very little in the way of entertainment. The Pirate Captain flipped listlessly through several books, but he had no interest in poems about water and statues and other poems. He also objected to any form of writing that was too lazy to use the entire width of the page. Dreadfully wasteful, it was.

A small eternity passed before the Librarian with a Scarf returned, arms laden with books that didn't even belong on this side of the library. 

"How's the stakeout going?" he asked.

"Intolerably!" the Pirate Captain exclaimed, though quietly. "How do people stand all this sitting around and doing nothing? I can't even whistle without the shushers taking up arms. It's dreadful!"

"Don't you spend a lot of time sitting around on a ship?" the Librarian with a Scarf asked. "You can't be attacking boats and stealing gold all the time."

The Pirate Captain lifted one shoulder in a shrug that was in no way disgruntled. "There's more to being a pirate than boarding ships and collecting booty."

"Hmm. Well, I've got something for you that might help." He shifted his grip on his stack of books to hand over the one on the top. "Here."

The Pirate Captain blinked at him. "While I appreciate you embracing this part of the plan, Librarian with a Scarf, I rather think it won't take long to shelve one book." 

The Librarian with a Scarf smiled. "Actually, I thought you might like to read this one. Since the alternative seems to be you braining yourself with the next book of poetry you come across."

Curious, the Pirate Captain accepted the book. It was rather heavy, which seemed to be directly proportionate to the length of the title. " _Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World, in Four Parts. By Lemuel Gulliver, First a Surgeon, and then a Captain of several Ships_ ," he read aloud. "I say, do books always have such long titles?"

"Depends on the book. Jonathan Swift wrote this after reading _Robinson Crusoe_ ," the Librarian with a Scarf told him. "It's not quite as cheery as the one you're after, but it is a travel story. And there are pirates." He scrubbed his free hand along the back of his neck, looking oddly nervous. "They're not very nice pirates, but I'm sure you can learn from that as well. And it's a better cover than holding the ladder, so…"

"This is simply splen-" the Pirate Captain realized abruptly that enthusiastically raised voices were not appropriate given the setting and corrected his volume accordingly, "-did. Thank you."

The Librarian with a Scarf's smile sparkled broadly. "You're welcome." He hefted his armload of books. "I've got to shelve these in Biography, but I'll be back soon."

"Right then." The Pirate Captain flipped open to the first page and settled in to read. 

\---

Stakeouts, the Pirate Captain quickly learned, were much more tolerable when the stakeouter had a good book to read. Didn't do much for his attention span, though.

"You're enjoying it then?" the Librarian with a Scarf asked on one of his rounds. 

"Hmm?" the Pirate Captain said absently.

"The book." The Librarian with a Scarf was pushing a cart full of history books this time; someone had written 'rubbish' across the cover of the topmost book in heavy black ink which, while not as outrageous as stealing, was still notably disappointed expression worthy. "You're enjoying it?"

"Indeed." The Pirate Captain pulled himself away from the inhabitants of Lilliput long enough to smile up at the Librarian with a Scarf. "I'll tell you one thing, you're a jolly good librarian."

The Librarian with a Scarf's answering smile was a little smaller than the Pirate Captain thought it should be. "Just doing my job. Any sign of our thief yet?"

The Pirate Captain waved a hand, turning his attention back to his book as he spoke. "I promise you, if there is, you will be the first to know." He paused. "Well, second. I need to know first, or I won't be able to tell you. And the captain really ought to know what's afoot."

Above him, the Librarian with a Scarf went suddenly rigid. 

"Captain," he said.

"Not now," the Pirate Captain said, not looking up. "Gulliver's about to steal the Blefuscudians' ships. I say, is that how you pronounce that?"

The Librarian with a Scarf grabbed his arm. "Captain!"

The Pirate Captain jumped. "Wha-"

"Quietly!" the Librarian with a Scarf insisted. He pointed. "There he is."

The Pirate Captain looked. There was a man of medium build with an entirely unimpressive beard standing in the fiction section, trailing one hand thoughtfully across the spines of the books. He did not have a mask, or gloves, or a twirly mustache.

"Are you sure?" the Pirate Captain asked dubiously. "He doesn't look much like a thief."

"He's stuffing library books into his bag," the Librarian in a Scarf said. 

"Oh." The Pirate Captain frowned. "Is that all it takes to be a thief these days? Seems like he's underachieving."

The Librarian with a Scarf rolled his eyes. "That's really not the point right now, Captain. If you don't do something, he'll escape with all those books. We're all counting on you."

"Quite right. Well put." The Pirate Captain looked down at his book and his frown deepened. "I say, you don't happen to have a bookmark, do you?"

"I'll remember the page," the Librarian with a Scarf promised, holding his hands. 

"Good man." The Pirate Captain relinquished his book, stood and brushed the dust off the seat of his cassock. Then he took a deep breath.

"Stop!" he cried, then promptly winced as unhappy 'shh's bombarded him from all sides. Still, no hope for it now but to carry on the way he'd begun. "Unhand that book, thief!"

The thief gaped at him, then took off running.

"After him!" the Pirate Captain exclaimed.

His cassock tangled around his legs so he hiked it up out of the way, flashing his red-striped socks as he stretched into a run. A glance to the side revealed that the Librarian with a Scarf was right there with him, his expression determined and a dash of excitement lurking around the corners of his mouth.

"Stop!" the Pirate Captain yelled at the thief again, enjoying himself immensely. "In the name of the Lord!"

The thief kept running. Which was just what the Pirate Captain had been hoping he'd do. This was jolly good fun.

\---

The resulting library-wide chase resulted in the Pirate Captain's cassock getting torn, the Librarian with a Scarf losing a shoe, one of the other library-goers getting trapped on one of the ladders when a collapsing shelf took out the bottom ten rungs, all of Zoology ending up in the Philosophy section, a small fire in Renaissance Arts and, ultimately and most importantly, the thief in the hands of the authorities.

"Thank you, reverend," the police constable said while his fellow officers herded off the thief. He held out one hand for the Pirate Captain to shake. "You've done the library a great service."

"Oh, not at all," the Pirate Captain said. He drew himself upright, pressing a fist to his chest. "A villain like that can't be allowed to go about stealing things that don't belong to him. Even I, as a pi- ngh!"

"Pious member of society," the Librarian with a Scarf interrupted, pressing his heel into the Pirate Captain's foot. "He just couldn't stand idly by."

The constable nodded. "Well, good on you. It's upstanding citizens like you who keep this city proud." He tipped his hat at both of them. "Good day, reverend. Sir."

"Ta-rah," the Pirate Captain called after him, waving. 

The sound of the door banging shut made the shushers go mad, and the Pirate Captain nodded definitively into the following silence.

"Well," he said. "That's that, I suppose."

He and the Librarian with a Scarf grinned at each other, enjoying the satisfaction of a job very well done. 

"That was absolutely mad," the Librarian with a Scarf said, though mildly.

"Yes, it was rather, wasn't it?" The Pirate Captain said proudly. The words earned him a looked that was tolerant and startlingly fond.

The moment stretched between them and the Pirate Captain saw the exact moment when it went just that bit too far; the Librarian with a Scarf's eyes skittered briefly sideways and he coughed uncomfortably.

"Er…?" the Pirate Captain asked.

"I'm afraid we're not likely to get back the books he stole for rather a long while," the Librarian with a Scarf said in a rush. "There's a lot of paperwork involved in registering texts as lost and then re-registering them as found." He held out the copy of _Gulliver's Travels_ that the Pirate Captain had dropped back near dear old Shelley. "You're welcome to take this one out on loan though, if you want to finish it."

"…ah," the Pirate Captain said. "I don't own a library card, actually. No standing address, you know."

The Librarian with a Scarf looked at him for a moment, then burst out laughing. The immediate chorus of shushes sounded borderline homicidal and the Pirate Captain wished, rather uncharitably, that they'd just be quiet themselves. The Librarian with a Scarf should be able to laugh whenever he wanted to.

"Captain," the Librarian with a Scarf grinned when he'd finished. "You're a marvel."

"Thank you." The Pirate Captain gestured awkwardly at the book the Librarian with a Scarf still held. "I'll… leave that here, shall I?"

The light in the Librarian with a Scarf's eyes dimmed a little. "I suppose that would be best, yes. It's been a pleasure to meet you, Captain." He smiled again, loyal, wistful and entirely genuine. "Do let me know if you have any other books you need to find. Or book thieves you need to apprehend, I suppose."

The Pirate Captain looked at the Librarian with a Scarf, reading the same reluctance on his face that he was feeling himself at their parting. What an unsatisfying end to a thoroughly enjoyable adventure.

Then he remembered Section 2.B of the Pirate Manifesto, Subsection III and decided that people were a perfectly acceptable form of booty to take from a conquered vessel. And if this didn't count as a conquered library, he didn't know what did.

So he smiled his brightest, most charming smile and said, "Tell me, Librarian with a Scarf, have you ever considered becoming a pirate?"

~fin


End file.
